All That Matters
by FlyxFlies
Summary: sequel to my fic broken and lovely, you should read it first then come see this!
1. Chapter 1

Alexander had never been to a wedding before. He had no clue what he was doing. This was the first wedding he'd ever been to and _he was the one getting married._

He absolutely wasn't complaining though. He loved John, he loved him so much. He just really, really didn't want to mess anything up.

"Dude, you're good." Hercules said, patting Alexander's shoulder. "Calm down."

"I'm just excited," Alexander replied, grinning over at him.

"Fair enough, you have waited three years," Herc laughed, grinning at Alex. "Alright, I think they want us to come out now."

"Alright. Okay. I can do this." Alexander said, walking to the door to the tiny room where he was waiting for the ceremony to start.

The aisle was lined with benches, all of his freinds seated and looking at him. Eliza beamed at him as he walked towards the platform, unable to help his grin when he saw John wearing his tuxedo with his hair pulled back, grinning at Alexander. He took his place across from John, looking over at the minister. He didn't know the minister's name, actually, but it didn't really matter.

What mattered is John was standing right in front of him, holding his hands between the two of them, and was about to _marry him._

Alexander glanced to the crowd, seeing Peggy fiddling with their suit- all of the Schuyler siblings had worn suits instead of dresses. The minister cleared his throat, Alexander looking over at John again.

The ring-bearer- John's youngest brother, Henry- came up holding the rings balanced precariously on the pillow. Alexander and John each took one of them and slid it onto the other's finger.

John's face was flushed, tightening his hold on Alexander's hands as the minister started speaking.

"Alexander Hamilton, do you take John Laurens to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

"I do," Alexander said steadily, squeezing John's hands and smiling.

"John Laurens, do you take Alexander Hamilton to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

"I do," John stated, his eyes crinkling up at the corners as he started grinning.

"You may now kiss the groom." The minister said, Alexander hearing camera shutters click as they both leaned forward to press their lips together.

Alexander didn't pay attention to the next words the minister spoke- he was too focused on John, who had pulled Alexander to him to squeeze him in a hug.

"I love you," John murmured into his chest, Alexander squeezing him back and looking down at him.

"We have to go to the actual party now, John," Alexander reminded him, pulling away gently and taking his hand to guide him down the stairs.

Eliza ran up to them, her siblings and girlfriend trailing behind her. Eliza held two glasses of champange, which she offered to them both.

"Oh, uh, no thanks Eliza." John said, gently pushing the glass back towards Eliza.

"Why?" she giggled, clearly already drunk even though the ceremony had only ended two minutes ago.

"No alchohol for us. We have plans for later that require being sober," John responded, glancing sideways and winking at Alexander. Maria groaned, Angelica rolling her eyes.

"Keep it in your pants, you two."

"Sorry," John giggled, looking around at the decorations.

"So like, is there a reason your wedding topper is just a blobby turtle sitting next to a disproportionate lion on the cake?" Peggy asked,

"We couldn't find any gay wedding toppers so we just improvised." John explained, scratching the back of his head.

"Ahh. Makes sense." Peggy responded, plucking one of the glasses of champange out of their sister's hand and downing it quickly.

"Don't get too drunk," Alex commented to Eliza quickly, following John as he absentmindedly started wandering towards another group of people.

"John, honey, please pay attention," Alexander chuckled, entertwining his fingers with John's.

"Sorry, just... everything is so interesting, y'know?"

"I know, John." Alexander replied, smiling over at John- _his husband now._ Yeah, he might be freaking out a little.

The party was quite interesting, Alex was sure, but he spent most of it in the corner with John, who was avoiding a sensory overload while eating cake.

John rocked back and forth on his toes, Alexander keeping his plate steady so he didn't drop it. It was almost eight, and Alexander knew if John stayed any longer he'd run out of people-energy.

Alexander took John's hand, leaning to his ear and wrapping his arm around his shoulders.

"You ready to go home?"

"Yeah," John mumbled, leaning his head on Alexander's shoulder. Alexander took his plate before he dropped it, setting it down on the table.

He pulled John along with him towards the taxi that would drive them home, some of the guests starting to trickle out of the area when they realized the two grooms were leaving.

"Bye, you two! Use protection!" Hercules shouted from across the room, John giggling next to Alexander. They waved goodbye to everyone, John hopping into the taxi first and scooting over so that Alex could get in next to him.

Alexander told the taxi driver their address, curling up next to John in the taxi and watching out the window as they drove by numerous things.

When they were almost home, Alex felt John shift around in his seat so that he could press his lips up against Alexander's neck. Alexander tilted his head back to give him easier access, the car screeching to a halt as it parked outside of their house, John unbuckling his seatbelt and reaching for his wallet, giving the Taxi driver the fee and a pretty sizeable tip.

Alexander tugged John up the pathway to their house- it had been years since they'd upgraded from the tiny apartment- fumbling for his keys a moment before locating them. He unlocked the door to the house, pulling John inside and locking the door behind him, John pushing the tuxedo jacket off from Alexander's shoulders, Alexander pulling him closer by the waist. John pulled Alexander along by his arm, swinging open the door to the bedroom and walking with Alexander to the bed.

"You sure?" Alex asked John, shifting John into his lap and starting to undo the buttons on his shirt, pushing it off John's freckled shoulders.

"Absolutely sure," John responded, tossing Alex's shirt to the floor.

...

Alex could feel John's breathing getting deeper next to him, their legs tangled together and arms wrapped around each other.

"Love you," John mumbled, tightening his hold on Alexander. Alex smiled even though he knew John couldn't see it, closing his eyes.

"Love you too."


	2. Chapter 2

"John, I'm hooome!" Alex called, throwing the door shut behind him. Their one-year anniversary was in two weeks, and Alexander had already bought him something.

He stuffed it into the lower cabinet on the TV stand, looking up when he realized John hadn't responded.

"John?" He asked, a little quieter- John did, on occasion, go nonverbal after draining days. It wasn't really anything to worry about.

Alexander cracked the bedroom door open, flicking on the light, hearing John groan and watched as he pulled the covers up over his head.

"Hey, hey, hey, John, what's going on?" He whispered, pulling the sheets back to look at John. John looked at him, averting his gaze quickly- his eyes were shadowed by dark bags- Alex wasn't sure if he slept last night, actually- but what was most concerning to him was the look of fear on his face.

"Francis showed up at the library," John mumbled, Alex rubbing his shoulder while looking at him.

"And what did he do?" Alex absolutely didn't want to hear the answer to his question, John refusing to turn over and look at him.

"Can I type it out...?" John mumbled again, Alexander passing him his phone from the nightstand and watching over John's shoulder as he wrote it out.

 _Francis came directly up to me in the library aile and asked me for help findding a book, and scince i couldn't say no without getting punihmenat from boss i had to go with him, and he kept flirting with me until i told him i was mraried and shoed him my ring and then he starrrted tryinng to convice me to leave u and he kept tryign to grab me by thhe wais_

Alex stopped John from writing any more, as he was shaking too badly and scrambled mentally to spell correctly and he'd already heard enough.

"Do you mind if I touch you on the shoulder or do you want me to not touch you at all?" Alex asked quietly, John nodding and rolling over to face him, thanking him with his eyes.

"Do you want me to report anything to your boss?"

John started shaking his head, Alexander starting up again.

"I'm a lawyer, John. We can get a restraining order on him and he can't ever touch you again," Alex felt his voice falter towards the end, looking down at his husband. _How could anyone do that to him,_ Alex didn't know. All he could do was make sure that nothing added on to John's rocky past. John didn't respond, looking away from Alexander.

"What stim toy do you want?" Alex asked, getting up- John often forgot he owned any.

"The tangle," John whispered, Alexander pulling the toy out of the drawer full of them and tossing it to John, watching him catch it and twirl the plastic around in his fingers.

He grabbed his laptop, flipping it open and starting to compile a list of evidence as to why John could get a restraining order.

Hours passed, John woke up and fell asleep over and over again next to him, until one of them broke the silence.

"I want kids."

"Really?" Alex blinked, looking over at John.

"Yeah. And I want to stop flinching every time I hear Francis' name," He started, Alexander waiting for him to continue. "I heard a good method is naming someone or a pet after the name you want to dissacosiate from," John finished.

"So you want to name our kid Francis?"

"...yes," John sighed, squirming in the bed to get to Alex and curl up against his side.

"If they're a girl?"

"Spell the name with an E instead of an I."

"Mmmph," Alex said, feeling John wrap his arms around his middle.

John yawned, Alexander closing his laptop.

"What do you want for dinner?" He put the laptop back up on the nightstand, starting to get up.

"I dunno," John said, using Alexander to help himself up.

"I can order pei wei or something," Alex offered, walking over to the cord phone they had on the wall.

"Sounds good," John responded, sitting up. Alexander ordered the food, going back over to John and sitting down next to him.

"You wanna talk or no?" John shook his head, Alexander nodding and kissing his forehead.

"Love you."


	3. Chapter 3

"Alex, Alex, what if something goes wrong?" John had been asking the same question over and over for two hours now, and Alex is assuming John's fingers are about to fall off from how much he's been fidgeting with them.

"Nothing will go wrong. Martha will be fine, Frances will be fine. We will go home tomorrow with a little tiny baby, okay?"

"But how do you KNOW that-"

"John." Alexander said, sighing. "Please try to calm down."

"Okay, okay... but-"

"No."

John crashed sideways into Alexander's lap, sprawled across the two plastic waiting room chairs.

"I'm so tired," John yawned, looking up at Alexander and reaching out to boop his nose.

"You dork, go to sleep." Alexander said, catching his hand and holding it agaisnt his mouth.

"But I caaaaaan't, i'm so stressed," John complained, waiving his hands around in the air while he laid on his back.

"Soft kitty, warm kitty, little ball of fur-"

"Alexander-" John started, laughing a little bit at his husband's antics, while Alexander shifted and pulled his hair out of his face to continue singing.

"Happy kitty sleepy kitty,"

"Alex, stop. You know I hate the Big Bang Theory,"

"Yes, but the song is good."

"That's true, but still n-" A nurse tapped Alexander's shoulder, looking at the two.

"Do you want to come see the baby?"

Alexander let John get out of his lap first and then drag Alexander after the nurse towards the hospital room.

The nurse opened the door for them, letting John walk in carefully as to not disturb his sister or the baby. John had had an idea- his sister looked a lot like him, so artificial insemination could be used to look like their child belonged to both of them.

Alexander could only see the baby's face and he could already feel himself literally melting.

"Oh my god," He heard John whisper as he stumbled forward and sat down in the plastic chair, reaching out to hold the baby's tiny hands in his.

"Hello, Frances," John mumbled, the tiny bundled newborn snuggled warmly in Martha's lap- John's sister seemed to have fallen asleep, but it was understandeable.

"Can I pick her up?" John asked the nurse, and once he got the approval he gently gathered up the infant in his arms and turned to Alexander slowly, holding her between them.

"Oh my gosh, she's got your eyes. Alex, Alex, she has your eyes." Alexander looked down at her, and indeed, he found his dark brown, almost black eyes looking back up.

"Is she going to be hungry?" John asked one of the nurses, handing the swaddled baby to Alexander momentarily- she was small, barely weighed anything, especially since he was used to carrying John.

John came back with a bottle the nurse had given him, taking Frances back and sitting down with her nestled into his arm while he fed her.

"She's so cute," Alexander whispered, sitting down next to John and watching her slowly fall asleep in John's arms.

...

It was the third time tonight. The third. He was about to get up to go get Frances whatever she was crying for, but John pushed him back down.

"I'll get her, it's fine," he mumbled, wiggling out of Alexander's arms and then stumbling blindly through the dark to get to Frances' room.

Alexander shifted, pulling the blankets back up over himself and trying to fall back asleep as the crying stopped.

He heard the door creak back open, John feeling his way back to the bed onehandedly.

"Wait, babe, are you-"

"Yeah, let's just have her sleep here. I think she's lonely."

"Alright," Alexander sighed, lifting up the blanket for John to put Frances down between them and then crawl under the blankets.

Alexander pulled them both closer to him, earning a kiss on the forehead as John settled down, Alexander already starting to pass out from sheer exhaustion.


	4. Chapter 4

John was asleep on the couch, with their adorable toddler tucked into his arm. Frances had grown considerably, but hadn't spoken yet.

Her hair was pretty much the same as Alexander's, and so were her eyes, but her facial structure was similar to John's, or rather, his sister.

And, as Alex frequently felt blessed for, she had freckles like John.

"Alex," John mumbled, shifting out of sleep to look at him. "I'm hungry."

Alexander watched Frances shift around as she woke up, her tiny limbs stretching for a moment before she opened her mouth and started to wail.

"You're awake for five seconds and already crying. Alright, sure. That makes sense," John grumbled, picking her up and carrying her to Alexander.

"Hold her, i'll get her the baby food."

Alexander gently patted her back, rocking back and forth to try to get her to calm down.

John came back holding the food, sitting down on the couch and taking Frances from Alexander, setting her down in his lap.

"Pweeze!" Franced squeaked, John blinking at her in surprise.

"Did she just-"

"She just talked!" Alex shouted, cheering. "I'll go write it down, you feed her."

"Alright, alright." John said, starting with the airplane antics that Alex often loved watching.

Alexander pulled down the baby picture book they'd been compiling for six months now- there were pages and pages of empty space, but it wouldn't be hard to fill.

He walked back out to where John was closing up the container of baby food, adjusting Frances to sit on his lap again.

"What do you wanna watch?" He asked Alexander, scooting over so there was room for him on the couch.

"Pippo pweg," Frances babbled, grinning proudly.

"And who did I ask?" John replied to her teasingly, ruffling her head.

"You awsked Pops, but I said cause i'm smarter!" Frances said, poking John's chest. Alexander watched his husband's face contort into laughter, looking at Alex.

"She has your personality, I take it."

"Apparently, but who are you to complain? You married me."

"And I've never regretted a second of it. Get over here, we're going to watch Peppa Pig according to Frances."

"Alright," Alex chuckled, sitting down next to the two and leaning against John, Frances sitting between them comfortably.

"Love you, John." Alex whispered into his ear, not having to look to know John had just started grinning.


	5. Chapter 5

"It's snowing!" Frances screamed, pressing her face up against the glass.

"Shh, no need to yell," John said, looking up. "It snows every year."

"But it's SNOWING." Frances re-stated, looking at her dad seriously.

"How about I help you get your warm stuff on and we can go outside and play in the snow?" Alexander asked, Frances already grabbing his arm and dragging him to the closet.

Alexander took her coat off the hook, wrapping it around her shoulders and helping her get her arms through the sleeves. She pulled on her boots, charging towards the door. Alex unlocked it for her, pulling on his own jacket.

He walked outside, seeing Frances kicking the powdery stuff around and squealing with joy. John soon came outside and joined them, grinning at Frances.

"Having fun?" He asked her, laughing a little as she picked up a handful of snow and threw it at Alexander. It landed a few inches from his foot.

"You might want to throw harde-" Alexander caught a face-ful of snow hurled at him, wiping it off of his face to see John grinning at him mischeviously, leaning over to grab his own handful of snow before hurling it at his husband.

Frances giggled as her two dads continuosly hurled snow at eachother, before John confidently strode up to Alexander and pressed a kiss to his lips, Alexander happily pulling him closer before John dumped a fistful of snow down the back of his jacket.

"JOHN," He complained, jumping away from him and trying to shake the snow out of his jacket, John giggling with Frances.

"Let's go back inside," John suggested, brushing the snow out of Frances' hair, which was much like Alexander's.

"I'm gonna put a bowl out here to collect clean snow so we can make cool slushies," John told Alexander, walking inside before them to climb on the kitchen counter so he could reach the mixing bowls.

Alexander led Frances back inside, unwrapping her scarf, while she unbuttoned her own winter coat. Her freckles stood out against her face, which had flushed in the cold.

John walked past them, putting the bowl down and then walking back inside, unraveling Alexander's scarf and kissing his jaw briefly, looking at the clock.

"You have an hour 'til bedtime. What do you wanna do?" He asked Frances, brushing some snow out of her hair.

"I want to watch Blue's clues," Frances said, reaching up to signify she wanted John to pick her up.

"Alrighty," John said, walking with her to the couch and setting her down between he and Alex.

Alexander was sure the show was rather interesting, but it was hard to focus when his family was being so adorable. John was shaking his hand back and forth while rocking slightly, Frances staring at the screen with utter fascination.

"Sweetie, it's time for bed," Alex said, looking at the clock.

"But POPS," Frances complained, falling sideways onto Alexander's lap.

"Yes, I know, you're dramatic. Come on," Alex said, picking her up and carrying her to her bedroom, setting her down on her bed and pulling up her cat-patterned sheets to her chin.

"Are you good?" Alex asked, flicking on her nightlight before turning off the main lights.

"Mhm," Frances responded, Alex closing her door and walking back to the couch, where John was.

Alex took his hand and helped him up, walking with him to their bedroom.

Alex tugged off his shirt and replaced it with a softer pyjama shirt, laying down in bed and lifting up the covers so John could get in.

John shifted, curling up next to Alex and loosley wrapping his arms around him, humming softly.

"Frances' birthday is soon."

"Mmmm," John responded, tangling their legs together.

"What do you get 6-year-old-kids?"

"Dunno," John replied, yawning and starting to breathe deeper.

"Love you," Alex said, kissing the top of his head.

"Love you too." John mumbled, falling asleep.

Alexander woke up to the sound of John and Frances whispering a conversation back and forth.

"You had a nightmare?"

"Mhm," Frances whined, climbing up onto their bed and sitting in her dad's lap.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" John whispered to her.'

"Nuh-uh." Frances replied, John nodding.

"You wanna sleep here?"

"Yeah," She said, plunking herself down between Alex and John. John laid back down, pulling Frances close to his chest.

"I'm your big, scary father, and i'm gonna keep all the nightmares away, okay?"

"Okay," Frances said, Alexander shifting so he squished Frances between him and John.

"I'll protect you too."


	6. Chapter 6

"When do we get to see them?" Frances complained, swinging her legs back and forth. She was well into being a six year old, attitude and everything. Alexander liked to pin it on her being six, but John would shake his head and say that she'd clearly inherited Alex's personality.  
Frances had just gotten back from an ice skating practice, where she was still just learning the basics. Both she and John were still bundled up next to Alex in the stuffy hospital waiting room.  
"Whenever Eliza's ready to see us is when they let us in." John said, reaching out to squeeze Alexander's hand.  
"But I wanna see my brother now!" Frances insisted, flopping over dramatically onto John's lap. Alex looked up as a nurse came over to them, Frances leaping to her feet.  
"Let's go! Let's meet my brother! Come on!" She said, tugging her dads along to their amusement.  
John looked over at Alexander, meeting his eyes- the nostalgia was crazy. The girl they'd met in this hospital six years ago was now tugging them along to meet another baby.  
"You ready?" John asked Frances, watching her shove open the door without another word.  
"Oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh," Frances whispered, walking closer to Eliza and the baby in her lap.  
"Give her space, Frances-" Alexander warned, putting a hand on her shoulder.  
"I have a sister? Not a brother?"  
"Yes. We didn't want to ruin the surprise for you," John said, ruffling her hair.  
"But I wanted a brother." Frances frowned, furrowing her eyebrow.  
"Well, it doesn't matter." John tried to calm her down before she started her typical six year old meltdown.  
"Okay, okay. What's her name?" Frances asked, reaching out to touch the baby's hand.  
"Mary." John responded, kissing the top of Frances' head.

Six Years Later

"Your turn." John complained, burrowing further into the blankets.  
"I took the kids to school yesterday. It's your turn."  
"But i'm tiiiiiiired," John grumbled, huffing in complaint.  
"If you come with me, i'll take you to Aaron's bakery afterwards and we can get breakfast there." John hesitated before responding,  
"Do I have to get out of my pyjamas?"  
"If you don't mind being looked at weird, you're good."  
"Like people won't look at us funny anyway."  
"Oh come on, we're in New York."  
"Donald Trump is from New york."  
"Oh, hush."

...

"Alex! John!" James waved at them from the counter, a few customers glancing at them before turning back to their food. Alexander waved at him, John following him to the counter.  
"John, what do you want?" Alexander asked him, John shrugging in response.  
"A muffin?"  
"Alright," James said, putting in his order and then looking at Alexander.  
"A slice of chocolate pie," Alex said, James nodding and pointing them towards a table, so they could seat themselves.  
John sat down across from Alexander, smiling softly and gazing across at him, when Alexander noticed for the first time that John didn't fully meet his eyes.  
And he noticed for the first time that he was okay with it.

...

Alexander loved his midnight chats with John.  
They rarely happened, since John had a deeper love of sleep than Alexander did, but Alex loved when John started them.  
They'd be curled up together, Alexander with his face pressed into John's hair, when John would mumble a sentence and they'd talk until one of the kids woke up.  
Alex wasn't really sure he felt the same about what John said tonight.  
"We need to tell the kids about Francis at some point." There was a moment of silence before Alexander responded.  
"Why?" Alexander asked, shifting so he could look at John's face.  
"If- God, if the kids ever met someone like him, and they didn't know-" John cut off his words with a sharp sob, tucking his face into Alexander's chest and balling his fists in the back of his shirt. "I'm supposed to be able to talk about him," John said, almost angrily.  
"John, you don't have to talk about him if you don't want to."  
"It's been years, Alexander. Years."  
"And things don't go away because they've been there for a while. We've been married for years, John- that's not going away."  
"I... still."  
"If you want to talk about him, you can. If you don't, you can not talk about him too."  
"I- I mean... I'm just angry. At myself, really, but at him too."  
"Mhm."  
"I've never really told you how it all went down, did I?"  
"No," Alexander said, running his hands through John's curly hair.  
"I just- it started out great, Alex. I stopped trying to convince myself I liked girls, and he yelled at my dad and tried to get him to leave me alone, and he sent me texts with heart emojis and sappy love confessions every night, and- I don't know where it all went wrong."  
"Go on," Alex said, sitting up and flicking on their lamp.  
"He slapped me one day, 'cause I kept bugging him. I didn't know what to do about it, so I didn't do anything. And at first, whenever he hit me, it was 'cause i'd done something bad or stupid, and then he just started hitting me because he liked it when I got scared. And I just kept trying to make it like it had been before, I tried to make him happy, and I did whatever he wanted, mostly."  
"Punk phase?"  
"Yeah. Sorta. He encouraged it, since he was already starting his," John snorted a little, rolling over to look up at Alexander.  
"Did he ever pressure you into anything?"  
"What do you think? You witnessed it one day," John sighed, pulling the pillow away from under his head and hugging it. "He guilt-tripped me all the time. But I never- I never-"  
"Actually did anything?"  
"Yeah."  
"It still sucks that he tried," Alex frowned, tracing his thumb over the soft skin of John's hand. "But you're not giving yourself enough credit. You aren't realizing that you've gotten so much better than when I met you."  
"Really?"  
"Mhm. When I first started dating you... you were so fragile. You never let yourself step out of line, you bit your tongue when you wanted to argue- John, i'm glad we can squabble sometimes. I'm glad you aren't walking on eggshells anymore."  
John looked up at Alexander, tears welling up in his eyes and falling down to the smile set on his face. Alex welcomed it when he sat up and kissed Alexander. Alex smiled against his mouth, not objecting when John pushed him down flat and unbuttoned his nightshirt.  
John pressed his lips down to Alex's jaw, then his neck, then-  
Knock knock.  
"Oh come on-" John mumbled, rolling off of Alexander and getting up to go to the door.  
"I'm hungry." Angie complained, holding onto her teddy bear.


End file.
